Skip to main content

Young, energetic dogs suffer such hardship.


Enrichment = mess

Me: Here is a bottle filled with your breakfast.
Mort: Awesome! I can rattle it around and get all the food out!
Me: Yeah, that's the idea! And then you eat the food!
Mort: Nope, I'll just leave it on the floor. But this is fun!

Dog walker

*Knock knock*
Mort: MY WALKER IS HERE
Me: I know, I'll just get your stuff.
Mort: HURRY THE HECK UP
Dog walker: Hello Vikki! How are-
Mort: LET'S GO NOW
Dog walker: Oh! Hello Mort.
Mort: NOT INTERESTED LET'S GO
Dog walker: How are you?
Me: Great thanks! How are you?
Mort: COME THE HECK ON I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS NONSENSE

Expectations were not met

Me: Breakfast, Mort!
Mort: Yay! Hey....what's this rubbish?
Me: Your food. Dog food.
Mort: Yesterday you gave me chicken.

Daylight savings

Mort: It's 8am! You're not up! Are you dead?!
Me: It's 7am actually...daylight savings, Mort!
Mort: But I'm awaaaaake
Me: Go back to sleep!
Mort: I'll get on the bed and cuddle with you then
Libby: You will NOT, I am on the bed
Mort: Ok I'm going under the bed. I'm under the bed, being a snake...slither slither...bumpity bump...oh! There's a tail here!
Me: OMG shut up
Mort: There's a tail, and I'm biting it! Ow! Oh! Vikki!
Me: Not interested
Mort: It's my tail! Don't worry


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The vet, the races, and the weather

Mort's fan club Every other dog I have ever taken to the vet: Me: Come on then, vet time! Dog: No no no this is awful I'm not going you'll have to drag me Vet nurses: Oh don't worry sweetie we won't hurt you Dog: *Cowers* Mort: Me: Come on then, vet time! Mort: AWESOME! Time to get my STRUT on and see my BITCHIZ Vet nurses: Oh Mort, oh Mort, you are so wonderful Mort: Ladies, please. One at a time! Fast, but thirsty Michael: I don't mind racing on the scooter with Mort pulling it Me: Awesome, maybe you'll do really well because you have a sense of balance Mort: I will find all the puddles on the trail and lie down in them and drink while I'm lying down Climate change *Every year for the last 8ish years...* Winter: I'm gonna come and make you COLD Me: Ok, I'm waiting Winter: Get your jumper on and prepare to be COLD! Me: It's the Solstice already and I'm not convinced Winter: You're gonna get properly col...

Broken legs make bored dogs

Loyalty *Six weeks ago* Me: Wanna play? Mort: Oh god yes! YEAH! I love you! *Four weeks ago* Mort: Wanna play? Me: Well, there's a limited range I can do, and I'm quite tired...but I'll give it a go. *Two weeks ago* Me: Wanna play? Mort: I guess? But you're so slow these days. *This week* Me: Wanna play? Mort: You're dead to me now. Brexit Me: What do you guys think about Brexit? Harry: Sorry, didn't hear you there over the sound of my own boredom Magnus and Mort: Breakfast? Not going out Mort: Let me out let me out LET ME OUT! Me: Michael, I think Mort wants to go out. Michael: Ok, I'll interrupt my much-needed sleep, get up, freeze half to death, stand on things and trip over things, in order to let you out, princess. Mort: I've suddenly changed my mind and HATE the idea of going out. Michael: Come on! Hurry up! It's cold! Mort: You can't make me! Me: Come on, Mort! Go outside with Michael! Mort: I'm going t...

What are inaudible dialogues?

Simply put, an inaudible dialogue is a conversation that nobody can hear, because it happens in your head. Is it still real? I think so, but if you're a stickler for reality, perhaps read My Science Game instead. I started writing inaudible dialogues as Facebook posts, years ago. Usually, something had passed between me and a cat that was so obviously a conversation that I had to share it. The fact that no words were spoken didn't matter. I am about to post an archive of all the Facebook dialogues that I saved, but most have been lost. They were always meant to be temporary, because they capture a snapshot of that moment shared between me and the cat, dog, shower curtain or whatever other creature or object was involved. However, they seem to be popular, so I will post them in this blog for others to enjoy. As unreal as inaudible dialogues seem, they capture real life. They can happen at any time, while you're doing any boring, mundane thing. To me, the dialogues wi...