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The vet, the races, and the weather


Mort's fan club

Every other dog I have ever taken to the vet:
Me: Come on then, vet time!
Dog: No no no this is awful I'm not going you'll have to drag me
Vet nurses: Oh don't worry sweetie we won't hurt you
Dog: *Cowers*

Mort:
Me: Come on then, vet time!
Mort: AWESOME! Time to get my STRUT on and see my BITCHIZ
Vet nurses: Oh Mort, oh Mort, you are so wonderful
Mort: Ladies, please. One at a time!

Fast, but thirsty

Michael: I don't mind racing on the scooter with Mort pulling it
Me: Awesome, maybe you'll do really well because you have a sense of balance
Mort: I will find all the puddles on the trail and lie down in them and drink while I'm lying down

Climate change

*Every year for the last 8ish years...*
Winter: I'm gonna come and make you COLD
Me: Ok, I'm waiting
Winter: Get your jumper on and prepare to be COLD!
Me: It's the Solstice already and I'm not convinced
Winter: You're gonna get properly cold soon!
Me: Right, bring it on
Spring: *Jaws theme*
Me: NO! NO! NOT YOU!
Winter: Oh well, maybe next year

Cow hoof

*Trying to work in the living room with Mort in the bedroom*
Mort: Vikkkiiiiiiiii
Me: What?
Mort: Look! I'm eating my cow hoof
Me: Oh, that's nice. Good job! I'm going to keep working in the living room now.
...
Mort: Vikkkkiiiiiii
Me: WHAT
Mort: Watch me eat my cow hoof
Me: I need to do my work, you can eat it by yourself.
Mort: NO I CAN'T

Attention needed

Mort: AHAHAHAHA I have this
Me: I know, I gave it to you.
Mort: Are you SURE you meant to give it to me?
Me: Yup! It's supposed to keep you occupied while I'm working
Mort: It is so awesome though, are you sure you won't play?
Me: Glad you like it!
Mort....I'm going to rub it all over your legs

A bad influence

Lewis: Quick Mort let's play
Mort: Oh no, Vikki will yell at us
Lewis: Ok but I'm gonna move in this jerky flirty way and stare at you
Mort: OMG I BITE YOU AND HIT YOU AHAHAHAHAHAHA
Me: CUT IT OUT GUYS
Lewis: Oh Mort, how could you.
Mort: I'm a bad dog.

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