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What do dogs and birds eat?



Onion soup is bad for dogs, but good for humans

Vet: You brought in Mortimer?
Me: Yup
Vet: Well he just brought up a lot of onion soup. Did you make the soup?
Me: Yup
Vet: It smelled REALLY good! What's your recipe?

Second breakfast for Hera

Hera's landlord: Here have some quail!
Hera: YAY! Early dinner! Om nom nom!
*Later*
Hera: Ugh, too full. I can't eat all of this. I will stash it on the floor. Oh, Vikki's here! Maybe she'll feed me!
Me: Hi Hera!
Hera: QUICK I'M STARVING!

Part-time nut cracker

Mort in the back of the car: *Crunch, crunch*
Me: What are you doing?
Mort: Cracking walnuts with my teeth and leaving the kernels and shells all over your back seat
Me: Geez! You'll choke! Stop that!
*Later in the kitchen when I'm cooking with walnuts*
Me: I wonder where the nut cracker is? Hmmm...hey, maybe Mort can be useful for a change! Mort, will you crack this nut for me?
Mort: I've never seen a walnut before and it looks dangerous and I won't touch it.

Sharing breakfast

Mort: Good boy Mort?
Me: Yes, good boy. I will throw you a crumb of Possyum!
Passing fantail: OH! I will chase that small thing you just threw and try and catch it for my breakfast!
Me: Wow!
Fantail: I missed it! You got any more?
Me: Here you go. Have a few crumbs!
Fantail: Yippee! Yum yum!
Me: That's amazing...you are so agile!
Mort: Um. I believe that is my good boy Possyum?

Validation required

Mort: VIKKI I'M EATING A BONE
Me: I am eating toast
Mort: NOTICE AND ACKNOWLEDGE ME EATING MY BONE
Me: Om nom nom toast
Mort: I WILL LEAN ON YOU AND MAKE LOUD HAPPY NOISES UNTIL YOU NOTICE ME AND MY BONE

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Inaudible dialogue archive

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