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Rejection

Rub it in, why don't you?

Gmail inbox: Here is an email rejecting you for a job you applied for.
Me: Good to know, thanks.
Gmail: Why don't you read it?
Me: I know what it says. Ok, I'll click on it.
Gmail: You haven't read it yet.
Me: I just read it.
Gmail: Read it again! I didn't see.
Me: Fine! I will click on it and wait until you say I read it.
Gmail: Ok, I am satisfied that you have read your email.

**Next time I check Gmail**
Gmail: Hey! You never read that email that rejected you for a job you applied for.


Drive-thru #2

Person at the Drive-Thru window at MacDonalds: Would your dog like a biscuit?
Mort: Less talk, more biscuit insertion
Me: Thank you!
Michael: You can have a chip as well, Mort.
Mort: OVERLOAD

The next time we went to the Drive-Thru:
Person at the Drive-Thru: Would your dog like a biscuit?
Mort: Oh! Yes.
Me: Thank you!
Mort: ....
Mort: .......
Mort: 😔
Me: What's wrong?
Mort: Last time I got a chip as well.

Starving lions in Africa

Me: Breakfast time cats! Here's your biscuits and I'll find some wet food
Magnus: OMNOMNOMNOM
Harry: Where's the rest of it?
Me: Hang on, I'm looking for the wet food
Magnus: FINISHED! Um....are you gonna eat that?
Harry: Go ahead. I can't eat this shit.

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