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Cheese, blankets, and camping

This is where cheese comes from

Me: Hey Mort, look over here for a sec
Mort: But everything is wonderful except you
Me: Look what I found! And totally didn't place here!
Mort: WHAT??!!
Me: Wild cheese cubes! In the grass!
Mort: HOW DID THAT GET THERE!!! HOW DID YOU FIND IT!!!
Me: Heh heh heh. Oh! Look! There's another patch over here! Fancy that!
Mort: WHAT SORCERY IS THIS??!!

I will never be comfy again

Me: I am going to take your blanket from your crate so I can wash it
Mort: WTF IS THIS?! I CAN'T LIE DOWN ANY MORE
Me: If you just come out, I can put a nice clean blanket in!
Mort: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS? WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO? THIS IS THE WORST THING EVER
Me: Ooo, there's something interesting over there!
Mort: Where?! Where?!
Me: *stealthy blanket switch*
Mort: Oh, new blanket! Yay! Yay! This is awesome!


Camping adventure

Me: Hooray, camping. At least if any danger comes my way, I will have the dogs.

*Later that night*
Mort: I HEARD SOMETHING
Lewis: WHAT
Ruru (owl): Ru-ru.
Both dogs: AAAHHHHHHHHHHH

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