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Break a leg


Crunch

My leg: CRUNCHITY CRUNCH
Me: OWWW!!!!
Mort: Oh, you're on the floor! What fun! There's a smell over here. What are we doing next? Are you getting up? What if I climb on you? Oh I tripped over your leg! Oh whoops I did it again! Lol.
Me: I thought dogs were supposed to HELP THEIR OWNERS IN DISTRESS

NOX

Part of my mind that is still me: What's happening? Where am I?
Part of my mind that has embraced the laughing gas: Shhhhh! It's all faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaine
Me: Ouch! I'm sure that hurt, it felt like it should have hurt
Laughing gas me: WOW that pain was PURPLE!
Me: What are they doing to me?! My leg shouldn't feel like this.
Laughing gas me: Purple pain, purple pain...

Loyalty

Me: Mort must be pining for me while I'm in hospital. My poor boy!
Mort:

 Image may contain: one or more people

Internalising


Leg: Sorry guys, I'm out of action, so you have to lie in a bed for a while.
Ears: Ok! We will help by producing lots of extra wax
Brain: Ok! I will help by playing vivid memories of all the times you have done something wrong, and how bad you felt, interspersed with what you should be doing right now and how you are letting people down.

Returning home


Me: *slumps onto sofa at home* Phew! That was a mission.
Mort: YIPPEE! I thought you were dead!
Me: Can you please get off my face?
Mort: If I lie on your head you will never leave me again

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