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The woes of a teenage dog

The cast
Mort: My new dog! Heading dog, collie, and Huntaway mix.
Lewis: Neurotic Border collie cross.
Harry: Psychopathic ninja cat.



******

 Pizza
*Eating pizza with two collies nearby*
Me: Ooo! that's spicy.
Lewis: What happened?! WHAT HAPPENED?!! I'm so worried about you
Mort: ARE YOU OKAY
Lewis: I ASKED FIRST

>

Meeting Harry
Mort: Oh, a cat! Yay!
Harry: Well hello there. Why don't you come a little closer?
Mort: Friend?
Lewis: Don't do it, bro
Harry's claws: ~Shink~
Mort: Not a friend! Not a friend!


>

Learning fetch
Me: I have a tennis ball
Mort: So what? There's a smell over here.
Me: I have a tennis ball...and you don't.
Mort: When you put it that way...
Me: This ball is so EXCITING! I'm going to run around with it and play with it!
Mort: I SUDDENLY REALLY WANT IT
Me: Fetch it then!
Mort: I'M GONNA FETCH IT!!! I HAVE IT!
Me: Bring it back then!
Mort: I'M GONNA BRING IT BACK BUT YOU CAN'T HAVE IT
Me: Give
Mort: Ok


>

Not really that shocking
Me: I'm going in a different direction now
Mort: Don't care having too much fun
Me: Ok but there's an electric fence in that direction
.......
..........
.............
Mort: *Distant yodelling*
Mort: muuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMneedcuddles
Me: Ok, well done for coming back. Off you go and play now.
Mort: More cuddles please
 
 

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