These are a few past posts that I have saved. Enjoy!
1st December 2018
Me: Breakfast, Harry and Magnus!
Magnus: OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMFINISHED
Harry: What is this?
Me: It's the same as what you had yesterday, and the day
before.
Harry: Nathan fed me yesterday.
Me: So?
Harry: Nathan cuts it up for me.
Me: Really?...okay.
Magnus: I'll have it!
Harry: SMALL pieces.
24th November 2018
Lewis: Vikki...Vikki...Vikki...
Me: Whaaaaaat??!!
Lewis: OMG you're awake! Let's get up!
Me: Mmmmpfffff it's 6.30am
Lewis: Yeah but let's get up!
Me: ok FINE I'll stumble into the kitchen and make tea
Lewis: Great! While you do that, I'm going back to bed.
1st November 2018
Mam and dad: We're going to the gym.
Poppy: When mam and dad go to the gym, I go in my box.
Me: But you don't have to tonight, because Michael and I are
here! You can stay up and have fun with us!
Poppy: When mam and dad go to the gym, I go in my box.
29th September 2018
Me: I will get up early to do some work.
Lewis: Oh! Are we getting up?! Fantastic!
Me: I am, you please yourself.
Lewis: Yeah I LOVE getting up! Woo-hoo!
Me: Ok but keep it down. I'm working!
Lewis: I will stare at you.
Me: I'm working...
Lewis: I will climb on you.
Me: I'm WORKING
Lewis: I will eat noisily from the cat bowl in order to wake
everyone else up.
Me: Stobbit and go outside for a bit!
Lewis: MUNCHING LOUDLY FROM THE COMPOST HEAP
9th July 2018
Me: I will meditate for 10 minutes.
Magnus the cat: Whatcha doooooing
Me: I notice the cat. I let it pass.
Magnus: Haaaaaaaiii
Me: I let the cat walk past me.
Magnus: It looks like fun, I'll sit here too
Me: I have no growing frustration at the presence of the
cat.
Magnus:
Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...
Me: I notice the ambient sound.
Magnus: PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Me: I let it pass. I am unattached to it.
Magnus: Boooooring...what can I knock over? Can you stroke
me? Can I sit on you?
Me: TEN MINUTES, Magnus. That's all I wanted.
29th April 2018
Harry the cat: I see you have a fluffy dressing gown on.
Me: Yeah, but I'm busy writing.
Harry: I love it when you wear that for me...
Me: I'm just trying to stay warm!
Harry: Lol. I know what you're trying to say. You want
cuddles.
Me: Not really, kinda busy...
Harry: I see you're writing an important research proposal.
Me: Yup, no room on my lap for you.
Harry: Well I shall just have to...walk all over your
keyboard until you make room. What a shame! Now there are capital letters in
odd places.
1st March 2018
Harry the cat: Vikki Vikki VIKKI OPEN UP OMG OPEN UP OPEN UP
for the love of chickpea juice and tinned salmon OPEN THE DOOR!!!!
Me: Ok ok ok! What is it?!
Harry: ...
Harry: ...
Harry: ...I'm going out.
22nd February 2018
Harry: Vikki, Vikki, Vikki!
Me: Whaaaaaat??!!
Harry: It's cold. I'm on your bed.
Me: Want to get in? I'll lift the blanket for you. Oh! It's
chilly!
Harry: Ummmm...
Me: Hurry up, I'm getting cold!
Harry: I'm not sure, I need a cuddle but should I get under
the covers?
Me: Ok, I'm not holding it up for you any longer.
Harry: Actually I think I will get in with you, just to be
on the safe side.
Me: Get yourself in. I'm getting up soon though.
Harry: No you are not.
29th January 2018
Me: I found you!
Tetragnatha (stretch spider): Right, gonna be very long now.
Me: Is that really your defence?
Tetragnatha: Yes, I am stretched out long and thin.
Me: So I can just grab your front legs and pop you in a
vial?
Tetragnatha: Yes.
22nd January 2018
Pete the beetle: Dum di-dum di-dum, dum tiddly pom...
Segestriid spider: I will catch you for my DINNER!
Me: Ha! I have blocked your hole with my stick!
Segestriid: Something's up. I will retreat into my - WHAT?!
It's blocked!
Me: Yup. What are you going to do now?
Segestriid: I'll try and get back in my hole.
Me: You can't though!
Segestriid: Errr....normally I just get back in my hole...
Me: Yeah, but you will have to think of something else now.
Segestriid: For millions of years, retreating into my hole
has worked. It was such an effective getaway that my only contingency plan is
to draw my legs up to my face and hope that you didn't see me.
23rd November 2017
Me: Jam jam jam, yum yum yum!
Harry: I will lie in the jam when she's not looking.
Me: Awwww do you want cuddles, Harry?
Harry: Tee hee!
Me: What's this warm, sticky stuff I can feel under your
belly? Gah! You're badly injured!
Harry: Lol. I love you. It's jam. Have some all over your
clothes.
12th November 2017
Me: I will have some kahlua and milk.
Magnus: Thank you! Pour yourself one while you're at it.
6th November 2017
Me: Come on Lewis, over the fence.
Lewis: I can't jump over it.
Me: You're a Border collie! They can jump over 6 feet! A
rope hanging just above the ground shouldn't be a problem at all.
Lewis: Yeah but I was crossed with something a while back
and I really can't.
Me: We'll do it together. Come on!
Lewis: OMG I just jumped it! That was wonderful! I did it
Vikki. Do you love me? I love you. Is that a cat?
Me: You're such a good boy! Oh who's my special boy!
Man across the road walking a pug: *In hysterics can't
breathe*
26th October 2017
Me: I don't recognise this address in Balclutha. Google
Maps! Any ideas?
Google Maps: We're in Christchurch! :)
Me: Yeah, I know that, but whereabouts is the place I asked
you about?
Google Maps: There's one in America! :)
Me: You can just say you don't know. I wouldn't mind.
23rd October 2017
Me: Time to change to my summer duvet due to the sweltering
heat.
Harry: I need to be inside the duvet cover
Me: You're not really helping - can you get out please?
Harry: I need to be on top of the duvet though
Me: ...I'll just continue this later.
Harry: Where are you going? You need to watch me be annoying
14th October 2017
Harry the cat: I have to come in the shower with you
Me: Ok, but you'll get wet.
Harry: Agh! It's wet!
Me: Yeah, it's a shower.
Harry: I miss you
Me: I'll be out in a minute.
Harry: I'll just drink from the toilet while I wait
Me: Ok...getting out now.
Harry: Oh! You have bare feet! They're great!
Me: Please don't claw my feet!
Harry: I'll just lie on my back with my claws out and if you
happen to walk within one metre of me that's your own fault.
22nd September 2017
Me: I can spell
Predictive text: I think I Cass spell better thin you
Me: I went to university, you know
Phone: It is important that all of your new acquaintances
think that you don't know about words
20th September 2017
Me: Right cats, sit nicely and I will feed you.
Magnus: I'M SITTING I WILL SIT FOREVER PLEASE FEED ME I AM
STARVING
Harry: How much, exactly, do I have to sit?
Me: Bum goes all the way to the ground, Harry.
Magnus: I'M SITTING
Harry: Will a public toilet squat do?
Me: All the way, please...
Magnus: GOD DAMN IT HARRY I WON'T SURVIVE MUCH LONGER
Harry: What if I...nuzzle your leg?
Me: You know the drill!
Magnus: JUST FEED ME AND LEAVE HIM FOR DEAD
18th September 2017
Me: Oi! Phone, it's 7am!
Phone: Yup.
Me: What's supposed to happen at 7am?
Phone: Errrrr...gimme a clue
Me: You're supposed to wake me up, aren't you?
Phone: Oh! Alarm! Alarm! Oh you missed the alarm
Me: No, I was awake, staring at you, and all you did at 7am
was flash "Missed alarm" on your screen. Silently. That doesn't count
as an alarm.
Phone: You missed the alarm
10th September 2017
Phone: Someone's calling you, Vikki
Phone: I think it's Julia.
Me: Right, why aren't you showing me the answer button?
Phone: She's still calling, but I'm tired so I'll turn my screen
off, you can still hear the ringing though.
Me: No, turn your screen back on so I can answer!
Phone: Oh you want to hang up on her? That's kind of rude
but ok...
Me: You're a phone, someone's calling me, I want to answer
the call!
Phone: You wanna maybe check Facebook instead?
13th August 2017
Harry: Cuddle time!
Me: But I have to do the washing up.
Harry: That's ok. I can hang onto your flesh with my claws.
Me: It's awkward and painful for me...
Harry: I don't mind, I'm enjoying our time together.
Me: I kinda need two arms -
Harry: Don't move or I'll hurt you more. This is nice, isn't it?
Harry: Don't move or I'll hurt you more. This is nice, isn't it?
Comments
Post a Comment